Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Day 7
So last night I was brushing more aggressively like Dr. Franco told me to do and those darn rubber bands broke and flew away. Now my mouth is open. I text Dr. Franco and he said that it was no big deal and he'd fix it on Thursday. Yay me, I took the opportunity to eat eggs. My entire mouth is numb. I don't like it at all. I know there are sores and when I brush I know I'm irritating them but I can't feel it so I'm worried I'll open a stitch or continue to brush over something that needs to heal. I got in there with a tiny flashlight to see what's going on in the back and it was pretty gruesome. I can see stitches and blood and slime and chunks of flesh. I just did what I could to try to get it cleaned. My top lip hurts when I move it up to brush. My bottom lip is loose and I'm constantly drooling. My chin and around my mouth and nose are really active. I feel a lot of nerves regenerating. There's pressure on my face and yellow bruising is starting to show up around my neck and jowls. I'm still not getting enough calories. I really need to work on that because it's just such a hassle to eat anything. I'm slurping and drooling and my nose is leaking and I'm still for the most part having to use a syringe to eat and the syringes have a plastic smell. This morning I had 2 eggs. That's 200 calories then I didn't have anything else until just now at 6pm. I had a shake, I put whey protein powder, collagen powder, cocoa, cinnamon, strawberries, blueberries, 1/2 banana, handful of spinach and a little water. I drank the whole thing. Maybe I'll try to get some broth and rice in before bed, since I don't have the bands. The problem with not getting calories is that I'm losing weight but it's good weight! Muscle tissue including my heart muscle! When people lose weight they want to lose fat slowly over a period of time then it stays off. But if you're starving you can't get better and you lose energy and get headaches and lose weight fast and when you finally do get better, you get that weight back plus an extra 10 pounds in case you need to starve again. Sigh. My pictures today look exactly like yesterday so I'm not going to bother with them.
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